I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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