Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
