Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
