On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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