we have pet lesbian snakes
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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