He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
