dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
