you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
