Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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