guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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