dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
