Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
