I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
