I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
