sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
