you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
