I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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