Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
