Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
