What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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