I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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