WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
