adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
