Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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