idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize