What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
