we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
