put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
