So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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