I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
