I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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