Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize