he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
