do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
