sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize