last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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