I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
