I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
