he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize