The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
