So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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