Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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