i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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