i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
