NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize