She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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