OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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