I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i think my mom watched the whole time
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
