Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
