I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
