They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
