i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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