The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
