Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
