question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
