I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
