The best revenge is premature balding
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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