god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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