There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
