i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
false alarm, still single
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
