I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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