I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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