I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i believe in u and ur pee
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
